I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
