Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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