I'm lost and stupid without you.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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