If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize