so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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