he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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