That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
