Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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