hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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