Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
