Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
that is very illegal...i love you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
