I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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