Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize