It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize