So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
