I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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