just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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