Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
