We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
