So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You did what with his pubic hair?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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