So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
