i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
