maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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