I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she looked like the before picture.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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