I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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