My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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