Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
