The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
