Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
