yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Randomize
