bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
