Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
