Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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