We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
