took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
