I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
