I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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