seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
