Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
