Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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