Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
