I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
