I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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