Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize