the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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