Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
