I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize