8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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