Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
