I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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