I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
