You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
