She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
