This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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