I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
as a side note pls kill me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
