i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
