Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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